I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I still have a little drunk in my system
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize