What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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