I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
