Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
