I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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