Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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