Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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