Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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