I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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