so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
