I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
