It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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