no, he came in my armpit
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Randomize