So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Randomize
