There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
