So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
