she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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