this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
a search helicopter?!
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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