I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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