i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Randomize
