Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
