I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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