Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
