The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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