It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize