I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
