i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
