I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
