My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
