just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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