No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
