sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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