was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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