I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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