I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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