His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
