hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
