Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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