YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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