Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Fuck me I smell like cheese
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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