I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Randomize