Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
