some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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