Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
