I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
