This girl is more easily done than said...
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
