if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
