You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
