i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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