Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
