Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
