She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
