he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
