Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
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