Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize
