you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
