So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
