Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I would fuck him just for his dog
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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