I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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