So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
