I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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