If i come over, it means nothing
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
