why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
