dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
How external is "for external use only"?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
