Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize