so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
