Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Just pee around me
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize