That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Of course I have a pirate flag
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
