Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
