i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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