I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
my liver is dry heaving
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize