Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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