you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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