she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize