If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
